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"JUST KIDDING"

On a very hot, humid, Sunday, August 05th another gathering of the Northeast Hot Rod Interclub Alliance Council took place at the Dominator's picnic in Belmont at the Beaver Brook Reservation.
 
Studley and Lawson were the first two arrivals. Brad left his house at 5:00 PM the night before to ensure he'd arrive on time the following morning. This measure allowed him ample time to set it back on 4 wheels after a series of mysterious backfires turned it over again. Brad swears he had nothing to do with cylinders 6 and 8 getting crossed. ' said it must have been vandals that crept into the yard the day before.
 
Doug arrived in a slammed S-10 truck, parked on some tree roots and immediately set off alarms wired to the environmental police. I think the beavers set him up! He was led away in leg irons and handcuffs but was soon released when Strelis posted bail. (4 PPP tickets and a nude photo of Jerry). Doug's truck contained a generator, two gas cans, l/2 mile of extension cord, a 50 gallon drum of coffee, two tents, two tarps, five gallons of bleach for the burn-out pit, a partridge in a pear tree, and two French hens.
 
As others arrived they brought the long forgotten club banner, more coffee and donuts, more hot rods and street freaks, and plenty of excuses. (It broke down ... there's another show ... I got up late ... my pants are too tight ... my hat fell over my eyes). By noon, the cash box was filled with IOU's, rubber checks, pictures of ex-girlfriends and monopoly money. Everyone was adorned with fetching gay little pink wrist bands and a colorful variety of other visiting clubs t-shirts and thongs.
 
Gustin stopped weeping and climbed off the treetops when his band finally arrived. Animal locked him inside Premie for 30 minutes to help with the hyperventilating he was experiencing.
 
Frissore was seen in a sequined Elvis jump suit trying to do a duet with the tattooed Miss Amy while Strelis caught the whole deal on film.
 
Clayton arrived with his silk scarf trailing over the rear of the slant nose and his beret tilted at a rakish angle.
 
Snowfat arrived with a trunk full of spare fuel pumps.
 
Much to our glee Jack and his cabriolet attended. He was the bands best customer!
 
Maimone was told to park in the import late model division while Danny eyed the roof line of Bob's (son) BMW with a portable sawzall and tape measure ready to whack.
 
Gamache told wonderful tales of Syracuse and gave the latest saga of other friend's adventures. Very interesting! Rod barely arrived looking pale and quite shaken. It seems his 84-year-old aunt caught him alone in the bathroom. She had never seen a man of his physical attributes before. The act of her flashing him sent him out the door, into the "ITSA48" and driving away as fast as he could. His color looked better after Nick and Ray force-fed him some of Jim's Lemonade.
 
By l:00 p.m. the Push Rods, minus Carl, and the entire T-Bucket gang arrived. They stated the party up the road was kind of dead so they came seeking a real good time. We didn't disappoint them. Push Rodders Bob Rhodes and John Connelly were seen measuring and video taping the field. As they want it for the new landing strip for the next French Flathead Caper and the Australian Nine Inch Rear End Liberation.
 
The band played until lunchtime. Rod offered the four musicians some of Jim's famous lemonade and proceeded to get them wrecked. When they came to, after lunch, the only thing they could play was church gospel music. The Push Rods liked this, and proceeded to whoop and holler and pray a lot. This was followed by everyone singing coumbayia and for the closing number to our musical show f_+##@! Dave did a rap song entitled "Homies Done Axed Me To Race The 55" The Push Rods invited him to choir practice next Wednesday night and offered to pay him gas and toll money.
 
As the day wound down, everyone parted company, a little heavier, full of tunes and a little closer to their fellow street rodder.
 
Respectfully submitted,
Disgustin
Special Events Reporter