Events

EARLY V-8 SWAP MEET

The Dominators first mutual participation even of the year 2002 started promptly at 5:00 A.M., Sunday morning, as we met at the Disgustin’s compound in North Arlington.

Brad, Doug and Disgustin headed to Fitchburg Airport as the second team of Vinny, Johnny and Squirrel were about thirty minutes behind.

Upon arrival at the airport entrance it took another thirty minutes to travel the access road, six coffees, one bagel, half a dozen donuts and a tank of fuel - plus, one pee pee stop in traffic between cars.

As quick as we dumped our swag on the gound we were deluged with buyers. A billet hound grabbed up all of Brad’s shiny stuff. Then some Model A restorer grabbed up all of Doug’s Model A body parts. Upon picking up his hot buy "Mr. Anal" demanded his money back stating he didn’t want glass parts. At that point the club prostitute was summonded to settle "Mr. Anal’s" beef. While she took him behind the club banner Vinny went thru his pants pockets relieving him of his cell phone, two crisp twenty dollar bills and a palm pilot. Johnny and Brad took the palm pilot over to the Early V-8 Sales and swapped the palm pilot for some patch panels for a ’34 five window coupe.

Squirrel then took the ’34 patch panels went down a few rows and swapped it for a big aluminum Endrel Injection style carburetor scoop. When he returned to show us his great buy, we beat the snot out of him. He had repurchased Brad’s unwanted dual quad scoop.

An hour later Disgustin sold his gas buggy. He wanted $475.00 dollars but quickly accepted the gentleman’s fifty dollar offer. The sand in the bottom of the tank and the leaky "O" rings were a freebie.

Another guy came by and bought Brad’s two steering wheels for ten dollars for the pair. Later we discovered he left the good one behind and took the crummy one. If he’d taken both he could have been into the driver education business by tomorrow.

Buddy strolled up next to show off his new illuminated finger hat. It’s sure to be a hit at the up and coming summer fashion show held at the Beaver in Belmont. When Gamach and Nick showed up about the same time Jerry came over to our spot and it was suggested we all have a friendly game of dice.

Well. . . out came the money and up rolled the shirt sleeves. Soon the hooker had a line of customers lined up at the tailgate of Disgustin’s "Tip-over Tacoma". President Doug was manning the craps table while Strelis and Squirrel were doing a neat little dance number from the musical, Annie Get Your Gun.

Brad and Buddy got out the billet roulette wheel that Bob Maimone had machined for us while doing overtime for the United States Government and spun that for a while. Two of the Push Rods, Don the Hair and Terry Gauthier cried foul when the wheel wouldn’t stop spinning for over 13 minutes. Those damn government spec alloy helicopter turbine bearings were working too well.

While Terry picked the roulette wheel up and flipped it over for a closer look Buddy interceded and threw the wheel up in the air allowing it to drop down into the back of "Tip-0ver" thereby, clobbering the back side of Push Rod member John Connolly who was exercising with our club prostitute.

While Bob Rhodes rushed to John’s lifeless body, the Alter Boys Tony, Peter and Jim dashed upon the scene and started grabbing up all the coins, bills, IOU’s, stolen bank drafts and rubber checks. As the fist swinging, biting, hair pulling, yelling, cursing and crying spilled out into the aisles, Peter and Tony, of the Alter Boys shoved all the cash down inside their pants. Their buddy, Jim Gove grabbed up any vintage part made prior to 1958 and screwed down the main aisle.

The Early V-8 club police arrived in their flat head powered golf cart soon to quell the disturbance and revoke our privileges until the year 2032. After apprehending the Alter Boys and retrieving our total sum earned of $27,319.00 - the boys apologized and invited us to go along for a cruise to Ralph’s diner in Worcester this coming Saturday night, April 27, 2002. (For more information regarding this evening out call Disgustin at 781-729-3393)

The hooker revived John and she and Nick got together with the Push Rods for a little financial settlement and comforting to make amends. Nick cut them a check in the five figures to make all well again.

By nightfall we had all met bail at the Fitchburg/Leominster District Court. Jerry stepped up to the Judge and had us all remanded into his and Danny’s custody with Gamache acting as the co-attorney. After further legal expenses and fines that still left us with a little over $1,200.00 dollars. We also had to deduct for the cost of the lead for the dice.

After deducting for a delousing fee for the bed of the "love machine", money for donuts- that Johnny ate and coffee, the ten kegs of beer we hauled along, the bandages, penicillin, condoms, crutches and other medical charges the University of Massachusetts Medical Center in Worcester charged us we were still in the plus column.

President Doug now has the net profit of $303.00 dollars safely tucked in his back pocket and is winging his way by jet to Florida for the next two weeks. There he will safely invest our flea market profit into some off shore investment company to further make it grow. With great hopes that Doug will be able to double our money by the time our trip to York is upon us. We are hoping the profits will help to cover expenses for our visit to the Nationals East?????

I wonder what Doug and Mimi’s plane tickets and hotel room cost for the next two weeks?